Chemo is no joke …

Chemo day was a busy one …

We had an appointment at the Surgeon to talk about me getting a port at 10:15. We were 10 minutes early and didn’t get into to see the doctor until 11:25. How can you be that far behind that early in the morning. Ha ha.

It was SO boring that Gerry and I started poking around the exam room… 🙂

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We talked Port. I bruise so easily from needles/IVs. I showed him a photo of what happened to my arm when I had my CT scan. If you want to read about what a Port is go HERE.

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He agreed to put a request in for the procedure as soon as possible so my surgery date for my port is on Friday. I’ll be like The Borg. Resistance is futile!!

We were so LATE for our next appointment which was with a therapist at the Cancer Center. We sat and talked with her about our lives and my diagnosis and about how we were dealing with everything and then she fired us. Ha ha. She told us we were doing great and that she didn’t think we needed to see her … but that we could call her anytime if we felt we needed someone to talk to.  🙂

Then it was time for lunch. Gerry had packed a little picnic and we sat in the shade of a Japanese Maple in front of the Cancer Center and tried to relax a little before the big procedure.

Then it was time … we were greeted by a lovely nurse who went over everything with me including exactly what they were going to do, my medications, etc etc.

And then she started …

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I am trying to think of the chemo as scrub brushes. c8dc68cccd5a11e2ad8422000a1fa8e9_7

The go in – they do their job – and then I flush them out by drinking fluids.  🙂

The nurse loved my shoes… she said “I see you’re wearing your power shoes today”. Ha ha. She was right. That’s exactly why I wore them.

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I wrapped myself in my chemo cape that my dear friend Dungaree Dolly made for me and tried my best to relax. The appointment took about 1.5 hours. The actual chemo was about 45 minutes … as I sat there I could feel myself turning gray.

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I got a crazy headache and started to feel like I was getting a head-cold. All normal symptoms said my nurse. Great. 🙁

After the chemo I went out into the parking lot and danced a little jig. ONE DOWN! Three more big ones to go.

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This is how my chemo is going to work. I am doing 4x of the big chemos (now only 3) and each of those are 3 weeks apart. Then I move to do 12 chemos (once a week) but they say that chemo is easier to take. Fingers crossed they are right because this first chemo was BRUTAL!

The first day wasn’t so bad. I felt kind if sickly but I managed to make my way through the day by eating Popsicle…

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And drinking green smoothies.

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My cheeks were burning RED from the medications that it actually made my freckles pop out. I swear I didn’t have this many freckles the day before … is that possible?

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I slept a lot. That kind of helped …

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But the other days (I’ve lost track of time) I felt so sick that I called the nurse hotline to ask about what I could do. She told me to take my “rescue” pill every 4 hours which is supposed to help me with the nausea. And it kind of does … but it also made me into a raving lunatic.

I seriously went manic.

It was like I had eaten an entire chocolate bar chased down with a cup of coffee. I couldn’t sit still. Lay still. Stand still. Walk still. I looked like a crazy junkie zombie …

It. Was. Awful.

I called the hotline again and she said “Oh that can sometimes happen with that medication. It can cause restlessness/agitation. Are you feeling manic? If you are stop taking it and take a Gravol instead.”

I’m really trying to get on board with this Western Medicine shit but episodes like this make me feel like they have no clue what they’re doing. 🙁

It was insane … I can’t even explain how horrible it felt. I was crying and laughing and acting like Carrie from Homeland.

Thankfully the Gravol kicked in and I slept for 2 hours and am slowly starting to feel better.

The feeling shitty is something I can handle but the nausea is really hard. I love food and I have no desire to eat. I have set a timer on my phone and am trying to eat a little something every hour. Right now all I can do is white rice and potato chips. What? This is not how I like to eat… I eat clean! Come on body!

Last night I was able to eat a fruit salad and some coconut yogurt. Yipeee. The nausea comes and goes in waves. It’s a nausea roller coaster.

Yes I know about Mary Jane. I have a card to a compassion club and I brought home a few “goodies” to help me through all this but the smell. Ugh. The smell of anything M.J. makes me want to barf. Ginger has helped … Any other nausea tips?

I’m trying to keep up my fitness. I have an elliptical in my office and I can barely do 3 minutes. It’s crazy how weak I am right now … I’m still walking the dog every morning/evening with Gerry but even going up the stairs of our condo is difficult. Crazy!

I haven’t even told you about the day I closed the store. It was a wonderful day full of visits from friends and probably one of my busiest days I’ve had since I opened. Thank you all so much for coming down to shop and for shopping online. It helped me reduce my stock by quite a bit.

My sweet parents came into town to help me to close up shop. At 5pm they helped me paper up the store and I closed the doors. I can’t even really write about it because it makes me so sad.

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Everything is just sitting there waiting for me … I’m going to start packing everything up next week to put into storage.

UGH! FUCK MY LIFE! This cancer is bullshit! 🙁

Back to bed with me … I am like a weak little kitten. Time to rest.

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