Went and saw my surgeon to talk about doing “deconstruction”. I like him a lot… I feel really lucky to have a surgeon who gets what I want to do. He was surprised that I wanted to remove my left breast and just be flat – but he understands my desire to be symmetrical and also that I don’t want to do reconstruction.
Because this is a non-urgent issue like last time (look ma no cancer) 🙂 I am now on a waiting list to have the surgery. I’m number 98 on the list so that means I will probably get a surgery date in the fall of this year – but I’m also on a cancellation list – so if someone cancels or backs-out of surgery I can nab their spot and get in sooner.
The good news is that because he’s not messing with my lymph-nodes – it will just be day surgery. Surgery in the morning and home and on the sofa that afternoon.
I came home from the doctors office and I had a butterfly in my stomach. I am excited.
It might seem weird to some of you that I am excited to remove my other breast – but I am looking forward to not having to wear an uncomfortable prosthetic anymore and to no longer be lopsided. I find it very uncomfortable.
My friends keep calling it a ballerina body or a flapper body – but truth is I am still carrying around my chemo/meopause weight (can’t seem to shake it). So I will more then likely look like I have a Buddha body. 🙂
The surgeon asked me if I was worried about not looking feminine and I told him I was not worried about it at all… I think my definition of feminine is different then most. When I was in high school and started becoming interested using clothing as a way to express myself I always modeled myself after androgynous icons.
Annie Lennox was a big influence on me. She rocked short hair and mens suits and was incredibly powerful and beautiful all at the same time.
Boy George, David Bowie, Jane Wiedlin, Patti Smith. Even Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror was someone I aspired to capture the essence of in my outfits. 🙂
I recently found this photo of me from highschool … Gosh I’m adorable.Â 🙂
My fav unisexual artist is Prince. I never wanted to dress like him – but I did want him to do my make-up for me.Â 🙂
I am not looking forward to the surgery (or the downtime away from the pool for recovery) but I am looking forward to the freedom of symmetry. I’m also excited to figure out what clothing will work for my new flat chested body. I realized after I saw the surgeon that I don’t really play “dress up” anymore. This prosthetic boob really bums me out and so does being a uni-boober.
I think a shopping spree is in order once I’m all healed up. Yippee!