Went and saw my surgeon to talk about doing “deconstruction”. I like him a lot… I feel really lucky to have a surgeon who gets what I want to do. He was surprised that I wanted to remove my left breast and just be flat – but he understands my desire to be symmetrical and also that I don’t want to do reconstruction.
Because this is a non-urgent issue like last time (look ma no cancer) π I am now on a waiting list to have the surgery. I’m number 98 on the list so that means I will probably get a surgery date in the fall of this year – but I’m also on a cancellation list – so if someone cancels or backs-out of surgery I can nab their spot and get in sooner.
The good news is that because he’s not messing with my lymph-nodes – it will just be day surgery. Surgery in the morning and home and on the sofa that afternoon.
I came home from the doctors office and I had a butterfly in my stomach. I am excited.
It might seem weird to some of you that I am excited to remove my other breast – but I am looking forward to not having to wear an uncomfortable prosthetic anymore and to no longer be lopsided. I find it very uncomfortable.
My friends keep calling it a ballerina body or a flapper body – but truth is I am still carrying around my chemo/meopause weight (can’t seem to shake it). So I will more then likely look like I have a Buddha body. π
The surgeon asked me if I was worried about not looking feminine and I told him I was not worried about it at all… I think my definition of feminine is different then most. When I was in high school and started becoming interested using clothing as a way to express myself I always modeled myself after androgynous icons.
Annie Lennox was a big influence on me. She rocked short hair and mens suits and was incredibly powerful and beautiful all at the same time.
Boy George, David Bowie, Jane Wiedlin, Patti Smith. Even Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror was someone I aspired to capture the essence of in my outfits. π
I recently found this photo of me from highschool … Gosh I’m adorable.ΓΒ π
My fav unisexual artist is Prince. I never wanted to dress like him – but I did want him to do my make-up for me.ΓΒ π
I am not looking forward to the surgery (or the downtime away from the pool for recovery) but I am looking forward to the freedom of symmetry. I’m also excited to figure out what clothing will work for my new flat chested body. I realized after I saw the surgeon that I don’t really play “dress up” anymore. This prosthetic boob really bums me out and so does being a uni-boober.
I think a shopping spree is in order once I’m all healed up. Yippee!
I had both breasts removed a year and a half ago. The cancer was only in the left one, but I was not interested in reconstruction or wearing a prosthetic. I was also not looking forward to being a nervous wreck for future mammograms. I’ve never regretted my decision. I did not feel defined by my breasts and I do not miss them. As a runner it is liberating not to have breasts and never having to wear uncomfortable bras is a nice perk. I applaud your decision!
Thank you for sharing!! Γ’Β€ï¸Β
MUAH!!! That is all. xoxoxo
Γ’Β€ï¸Β
I totally respect and understand why you are getting rid of lefty! I would do the same thing. Boobs do not make a person a woman. They are just balls of fresh!
Awesome decision! I think to celebrate you should head to a nudist beach in France and have a great time. He he. Plus this way you can wear any low cut outfit and not have to worry about falling out or having a malfunction of any sort.
We are all different! Personally I always liked Annie Lenox too (and still do !). I say whatever “rocks your boat” is great.
Keep me posted about your date. Love you, lady. I make house calls
I will. Thank you! π
I’m lucky enough to know you personally and I know that you are beautiful to the core, your breasts have ZERO to do with that. Taking charge of your life the way you do, no matter what crap it slings your way, is an inspiration. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and happy, you are the only one who has to live in your skin and you’ve always made your temple exactly the way you want it. I’m proud of you, I love you, you are making a good decision. XOXO
PS – I know you know I know but… you have great taste in icons.
Love you Martin!! You’ll always be president to my vice president. π
Some of my early girl crushes were on Katherine Hepburn and Diane Keaton and there were no boobs in sight in those movies. Your totally gonna rock it and I’m lookin forward to the fashion show π
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