Surgery …

Went and saw my surgeon to talk about doing “deconstruction”. I like him a lot… I feel really lucky to have a surgeon who gets what I want to do. He was surprised that I wanted to remove my left breast and just be flat – but he understands my desire to be symmetrical and also that I don’t want to do reconstruction.

Because this is a non-urgent issue like last time (look ma no cancer) 🙂 I am now on a waiting list to have the surgery. I’m number 98 on the list so that means I will probably get a surgery date in the fall of this year – but I’m also on a cancellation list – so if someone cancels or backs-out of surgery I can nab their spot and get in sooner.

The good news is that because he’s not messing with my lymph-nodes – it will just be day surgery. Surgery in the morning and home and on the sofa that afternoon.

I came home from the doctors office and I had a butterfly in my stomach. I am excited.

It might seem weird to some of you that I am excited to remove my other breast – but I am looking forward to not having to wear an uncomfortable prosthetic anymore and to no longer be lopsided. I find it very uncomfortable.

My friends keep calling it a ballerina body or a flapper body – but truth is I am still carrying around my chemo/meopause weight (can’t seem to shake it). So I will more then likely look like I have a Buddha body. 🙂

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The surgeon asked me if I was worried about not looking feminine and I told him I was not worried about it at all… I think my definition of feminine is different then most. When I was in high school and started becoming interested using clothing as a way to express myself I always modeled myself after androgynous icons.

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Annie Lennox was a big influence on me. She rocked short hair and mens suits and was incredibly powerful and beautiful all at the same time.

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Boy George, David Bowie, Jane Wiedlin, Patti Smith. Even Frank N. Furter from Rocky Horror was someone I aspired to capture the essence of in my outfits. 🙂

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I recently found this photo of me from highschool … Gosh I’m adorable.  🙂

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My fav unisexual artist is Prince. I never wanted to dress like him – but I did want him to do my make-up for me.  🙂

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I am not looking forward to the surgery (or the downtime away from the pool for recovery) but I am looking forward to the freedom of symmetry. I’m also excited to figure out what clothing will work for my new flat chested body. I realized after I saw the surgeon that I don’t really play “dress up” anymore. This prosthetic boob really bums me out and so does being a uni-boober.

I think a shopping spree is in order once I’m all healed up. Yippee!

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