Surgery day is tomorrow. I am pretty nervous (more like scared shitless) but I’m ready. Let’s git er dun!
I was talking to my therapist the other night about how I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like to wake up without a breast. It’s a weird thing to process and impossible to prepare for but what I can imagine is what it’s going to be like waking up and having Gerry beside me holding my hand. So that’s what I’ve been daydreaming about instead.Â 🙂
I can’t thank all of you enough for stepping up and helping me out by buying something from Sarah’s Place. I’ve processed over 200 sales in the last 10 days and it’s been NUTS! I did not expect such a big avalanche of support and I am so grateful.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I can now rest-easy and focus on healing.
Thank you for all your notes, cards, emails, messages, gifts… oh gosh. I have tried to write everyone back but if I missed writing you back – I am sorry. It’s been a whirlwind. I’m sure you understand.
Just know I read everything you’ve sent and it’s been so amazing to hear from all of you.
We still have a long road ahead of us … during my 2 weeks of recovery we will be waiting on pins and needles for the pathology report. That will tell us what is next in regards to treatment. Let’s all focus on the report saying I am cancer free and further treatment is not necessary. 🙂
But I can’t get wrapped up on the pathology report right now … that’s the future and I can’t write that story yet. I’m focused on today. My last day as a double-breasted woman.Â 🙂
Gerry and I are going to the post office to ship all your orders and then we are taking the dog for a long walk at Thetis Lake. Tonight I’m having my favourite dinner. Pancakes with maple syrup, topped with bananas and vegan yogurt, Fieldroast Sausage, Pan Fried Potatoes and a big glass of water.
We are dropping Fergus off at the dog-sitter tonight. It’s going to be a restless night without my little fur-buddy curled up in my legs but I’ll just curl up around Gerry instead.
Can we just talk about how amazing Gerry has been through all this? It’s impossible to put it into words. The other night I was so stressed out I felt like I couldn’t breath and he wrapped me up in his arms and helped me focus on my breath. He breathed for me …
No words can explain how perfect he is.
I’ll try and get Gerry to tweet something when I’m out of surgery but please don’t worry too much. I’m a tough cookie. I can do this.
Love you all!!
Glad you are in such good spirits that will help a LOT. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I know you will be cancer free so no worries. I say you should wear a bikini top for the rest of the day. Dont worry having 2 or 1 breast doesnt make you less of a woman/female. I am glad that Gerry has been awesome and a big support for you.
the whole vegan community has your back and will be thinking healing thoughts for you tmw. xo!
You can certainly do this. Legend has it that the Amazon archers were all single-breasted–easier to shoot at their enemies without a boob getting in the way. You’re an Amazon too! You are going to beat this. Not a doubt in my mind.
Much love to you Sarah. I am thinking about you and Gerry!
We’re all thinking of you and Gerry, Sarah, sending you tons of love, prayers and healing thoughts!
Love your strength and your honesty. Keep up the good fight, physically and mentally. OK, you’ll have a lop-sided meat suit, but what of it? You’ll still be beautiful inside and out. Hugs to both of you. You can beat this! xox
Yay, I love your positive attitude! Everything will be fine, prayers to you!
Let’s focus on a healthy, speedy recovery!
You have a great man by your side! Everything will be fine 🙂
Take care, Sarah!
My heart will be with you! With the two surgeries I’ve had I have found that everything starts feeling way better after day 3 post-op. I am thinking of you and sending love to the two of you. Gerry, you are doing a brilliant job! sarah, I am hugging you giant sloth style from afar. Love!!!!!!!
Will be thinking about you both tomorrow and sending you lots of healing get well soon wishes from the UK. Stay strong, you are both amazing 🙂 x
I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow and sending you good vibes. There’s no doubt there will be giant waves of good thoughts reaching Victoria.
sarah, i send you light, from the other side:) i had a left-breast mastectomy five years ago. you will miss and mourn and grieve. you will move through. you are surrounded by love, which pours through you and from you. rest and heal in this love. your gerry sounds like a direct portal, what a gift:) and you are the gift.
take your pain meds, so that your big human brain may process this radical change in your physical self. for a very long time after, i couldn’t imagine…not feeling so fractured, scarred, lopsided, even “disfigured” as i was described, by a loved one, in a slip of the tongue…that same slippery tongue nicknamed me “sharkbite” and then, the sun broke through…and i could hear laughter again. in time.
it iz stunning to wake up, without a breast. but you will wake up:) i also intimately understand the path through pathology and beyond. when your time is right, ask me anything, i can offer you my truth. actually, the worst part for me after surgery was the drain. they just suck. but they don’t hurt. just a hassle. and kinda freaky, ick. doesn’t hurt getting ’em out either. the waiting for the oncotype score is difficult. take all anti-anxiety measures necessary. in my experience, test-anxiety can drive you into madness, certainly an altered-state. you are well-prepared.
you are in good hands:) be well. peace, stephanie
Thinking of you, and sending positivity your way! You are a strong woman. You’re going to win this fight!! xx
Thinking of you, Sarah! Remember to be in the moment. One hour, minute, second at a time . . . Much love to you!
Will be thinking of you tomorrow – hope surgery goes well. Take it easy & stay strong. Sending you heaps of love x x x x
You sound like you are in amazing spirits right now! I am thinking of you here in Ontario. Such a vegan “fighting” superstar you are! BIG HUGS!
You’ve got this!
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It is awesome that you are focusing on the positives and the LOVE!!! Our bodies are simply “means of transportation” through life! It’s good to know that my vegan GODDESS has a REAL man by her side. Gerry: you are an example for other men to follow!!! As you undergo surgery, I’ll be having my thyroid biopsy… needless to say, my thoughts will be with US!!! Wishing you the very best in medical and nursing care, for a speedy recovery! Nurse Nathalie XXX
Dear Sarah, over the years your books and words gave me inspiration. You opened the door to the vegan world and invited me in. If it wasn’t for your wisdom and encouragement I might have remained blind in a world of meat eaters. In short, you empowered me and gave me the initial tools for my vegan journey. For that I will always be grateful. I guess it’s hard to imagine the impact you have had on the life of an anonymous soul. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I ask our Creator to provide you and yours with comfort and healing. Much love …
Sending positive and healing thoughts your way! I hope you have a quick recovery and the pathology report comes back with great news.
Keep those positive thoughts coming! Sending lots of good wishes to both you and your family, for tomorrow and throughout your recovery. All the best!
Thank you for your beautiful, honest writing. We’re all thinking of you tomorrow and in the days ahead. You got this!! Oh and Gerry sounds like an amazing person – how lucky that you both have found each other. “He breathed for me” that made me choke up a little. Love and healing, xo
You are awesome, Sarah and will be as beautiful when you wake up from surgery as you are now. Sending you all sorts of positive thoughts and I know you are going to be better than fine. XOXO
PS: Be good to yourself. Be great to yourself.
Love, thoughts, and prayers coming your way for tomorrow and a speedy recovery. You’re strong and healthy, and have Gerry and Fergus, you’ll do just fine!
Glad to hear you’re enjoying your favourite dinner. I’m enjoying the Simple Leek and Potato soup from La Dolce Vegan! I have over 400 cookbooks, and all of them put together cannot top La Dolce Vegan! , or any of your cookbooks for that matter.
You really a super star, Sarah! XOXO Tracey
Dear Sarah and Gerry,
Please know that you have even more vegan love and sister support beaming down your way from Denman Islandâ€¦you are in our thoughts, surrounded by the strength of all the grandmothers and female healersâ€¦.by spring blossoms, and the renewal that this time of the year summons forthâ€¦transformation is the way of the worldâ€¦ your journey is sacredâ€¦.all of it!
“The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.” -Mignon McLaughlin
Strong, Lovely Sarah,
You have been on my mind so much. I just had a relaxing bath but needed to get out early to come write to you. I am so pleased to find that you have written the night before your surgery. I wanted to make it in to the store on Saturday to see you as well as to buy a cookbook. That will have to wait until you are out and back at work…
So tomorrow there is going to be LOTS of visualizing going on! I know exactly what I need to visualize for you as I just put so much of my heart into the exact visualizations for my mom less than a month ago.
Sarah, this won’t be easy but nothing can be as hard as what you and Gerry have just gone through. It is criminal to make people wait like this. The 2 week wait afterwards won’t be a walk in the park but at least you will know the little bastard tumour is out of your body! I assure you it will be nothing like what you have just gone through. No one knows what the pathology report will say but we DO all know that you are strong, young and healthy and have everything in your favour. I will of course still do some serious visualizing with that outcome as well! “The cancer did not spread to the lymph nodes”.
Stay focussed tomorrow. Focus on your breathing. Put a white light around yourself and please try not to be scared for the operation. It is so straightforward, you will be talking to Gerry no more than 5 hours after you kiss him good-bye. Literally 4.5 hours after my mom said goodbye to us in the waiting room she was asking for tea and toast (which she did not get!) and most of that time was spent sleeping comfortably in recovery!
You have so much love, support and good energy focussed right on you from sooo many people.
I send you warm hugs and tons of support,
PS… I am in control of my emotions… my favourite reminder that has personally helped me through some rough times.
PPS… have Gerry kiss the palm of your hand before you go in so you can hold his kiss for comfort as you go into that lovely deep sleep!
Good luck tomorrow! Civilization as we know it has your back!
Sending healing wishes to you on this page as well, Sarah. You already know you have the very best medicine in your corner — your lovely Gerry and Fergus. The pre-surgery happy drugs and pain meds will help with the rest!
Sincerely, it’s been over a decade since my same surgery day arrived, and so much beauty has filled the loss — as you’re clearly discovering already with the outpouring of love that has come your way. There’s nothing like it, I promise. (It’s almost worth giving the other boob up for!)
After you’re out of surgery and awake, I suggest having the top half of your bed raised so your upper body is angled to kind of sitting up position, and then have Gerry steal a couple of extra pillows so they can be placed length-wise under each arm which is then resting slightly raised as well. (It’ll be like laying back into a giant pillow armchair.) This will help immensely in prevent accidental movement on to the surgery site (especially in not rolling over while sleeping), and also keep your arm from brushing close to the site as well — it’ll likely also feel like you’re getting a big gentle embrace from Gerry. 😉
Looking forward to hearing from him, when you’re safe and sound on the other side in renewed wellness. (Big hugs to you too, Gerry, for staying close to your girl on this journey.)
Marly in Vancouver
Paul Jarvis said it above: “the whole vegan community has your back and will be thinking healing thoughts”. And that’s what I’m doing now.
Good luck Sarah, sending you loving thoughts from London, UK. You have always provided such inspiration to so many people – we are all sending back our love and happy thoughts to you as you go through this. xx
Sending you loads and loads of peace.
I have been off most of internet for ages. I can only think of one reason for breast removal. I’m a 2x cancer survivor. I had reproductive cancer they said was too far, and I beat it. I had esophogael cancer they were sure would kill me. I beat it. It’s in taking contunually better care of myself after a third cancer scare that I found your book How It All Vegan, and am about 65% or more vegan at this point.
You inspire me, Sarah. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Gerry and Fergus.
I’m moving to Vancouver in 12 to 14 months. I’ll get to Victoria and buy all your books therem you can sign them for me.
Much Love, healing and peace.
All the best Sarah.
Your straight-up honesty in sharing this experience, in real time, has given me a much better understanding of what a cancer diagnosis means, and I think that has made me a better person.
i’ve been a fan for eons, but i haven’t been reading your blog (just cooking your food like crazy!). just heard the news and wanted to add my voice to all those supporting you! I’m so glad that you’ve got that mighty fine lovely human being to hold your hand, and that sweet fur baby to come home to. all my best wishes are zooming your way.
I am so sorry to hear that you’re unwell and I wish you a speedy recovery.
I feel so sad that such an inspiration to so many people’s health could be affected by this f’ing s#!t disease.
All the best with your recovery x
Thinking of you!