Back to work …

tired_kittenWell I went back to work on Monday and it almost killed me. Ha ha. I was so exhausted when I got home I was as weak as a kitten and could barely keep my eyes open during dinner.

I contacted my shop-girl Holly (who works for me 2 days a week) and asked if she wanted to come back to the store and she told me she could start the next day so thankfully I’ve had the last 2 days off to chill out and recharge my battery.

I’m feeling really unsure I can keep working at the store. This post-operative fatigue is really hard. It’s been 3 weeks (today) since my surgery and I still get pooped out so quickly. It’s like having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome again. Ugh. Enough already. 🙁

I thought I was ready to come back to work but I’m not sure I am. I’m going to work tomorrow (11-4) and see how I do …

I had a long talk on Monday with Shawna the RN at the Victoria Breast Health Center. She went over my pathology with me line by line and explained everything in full. She was fantastic. We talked about my upcoming appointment with my oncologist. It’s scheduled for May 15th and we will be talking about what they suggest for treatment. She told me to expect chemo. Everyone is telling me to expect chemo. Why? If they got it and the margins are good why the chemo? It’s preventative.

I’m young(ish) and they want to make sure they got every single cancer cell wiped out so I can live a long life. While what she is telling me is not set in stone …  she does this for a living and sees a lot of woman come through her door. She says for someone my age and my type of cancer, etc etc … this is probably what I should expect.

I asked her how many sessions to expect and she said 6-8. So that’s a session every 3 weeks. So that works out to be about 5+ months of chemo. Plus she thinks I’ll probably have radiation since they found one lymph glad that was compromised.

c4668d389251b8f86a0cc2d18f8e7688So my summer is going to suck. 🙁

After I have my meeting with the doctor on the 15th I’m going to get my friend/hairdresser Leah to cut my hair short … so I can get used to having short hair again before it all falls out.

Please don’t write me that you’re going to shave your head in solidarity. I’m not stressed about losing my hair. We all know I have a good shaped cranium.  🙂

If you truly want to support me – shave off your eyebrows. When I think about losing my hair that’s what I’m the most stressed out about. Just kidding. Don’t do it. You’ll look craaazzzy!

I had a talk on Monday with the manager of my building at Market Square where my store is located. They are being wonderful and supportive and are encouraging me to stay open (with limited hours) while I do treatment but I honestly can not visualize what it will be like to be shitty from chemo and work at the same time.

I’m really struggling with the idea of keeping the store open while I go through this. My store is like a living plant. It needs water every day to grow … I won’t be able to do that if I’m sickly from the chemo. Ugh. I don’t know what to do. Holly has offered to work with me during my chemo schedule but I’m not sure what I’ll be like. Can I even do both?

Have any of you done chemo and worked? Give me the low-down. I think I’m more scared of the chemo then I was of the surgery/cancer. Is that weird?


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