Big f-ing drag …

The clouds are rolling in … and I’m feeling a little bummed out.

All this talk about bullying in the news lately has got me thinking. I was bullied relentlessly in elementary school – and it escalated to epic proportions after my Mum died.

They made fun of my crazy jew hair, my clothes, my freckles, my height. I was told I was ugly and that’s why my Mum died … They threw rocks at me. I was punched and spit at. It was relentless and there was even a point when I was about 12-13 when I thought about ending my life.

I don’t think I understood the gravity of that thought … all I knew is that I wanted the taunting to end and thankfully I went to talk to my Dad about it and he was there for me 100%.

When I told him about the kids making fun of me he said two things:
#1. “Who cares what they think; they are assholes.” My Dad has a way with words.
#2. “Tell them to fuck off.See. I told you he has a way with words. 🙂

It actually helped a lot. It gave me strength to know that my family had my back and I learned that I didn’t have to be friends with everyone (especially when they treated me poorly) and that a few choice words can cut a bully off at the pass.

But recently I’ve been struggling with a bully and I feel like I can’t tell them to “fuck off” because they are part of my family. I love this person very much … but I have had to take a step back from them for my sanity.

Not everyone in my family is vegetarian – in fact I am very much in the minority but I have been really lucky that they have never made me feel like I was a weirdo, burden or a freak for my veganism. I’ve always felt supported and loved by my family and I try to mirror that back to them despite our differences.

Until lately…

This person has suddenly decided that it’s funny to make fun of my veganism. Comments about how “yummy animals taste” etc, etc. You know the jokes (if you can call them that) they are combative and almost never funny. 🙁

Being a life-long vegetarian and a vegan for over 20 years – I’ve become pretty good at deflecting those kind of negative comments (that we as vegans have to deal with from non-vegans) but when it comes from a family member … it hurts the heart a little more.

Actually … it’s incredibly disappointing.

I did my best not to judge this person when they stopped being vegetarian (because of social pressures) and started eating/hunting/glorifying the dead animals they were murdering … but I did notice that’s when the snarky comments directed at me started.

Guilt can eat someone alive if they let it … and I guess directing hurtful comments at me is that persons way of expressing their guilt for all the blood they now have on their hands.

Even when I said to them point blank “PLEASE STOP. You are hurting my feelings.” they kept going with the ridicule instead of offering an apology… and it’s a big fucking drag.  🙁

I believe that the people in your life should LIFT YOU UP and never tear you down.

So I’ve decided to back away and give myself some space from them. I will ignore the negative and only focus on the positive. So let’s turn this frown upside down – shall we?

All I have to do is remind myself of all the love I have in my life. I have so many incredible friends/family/fans who support me, love me and never try to hurt me. These are the people I will put my energy into and the rest can “fuck off“.  🙂

OUT WITH THE NEGATIVE! In with the love.

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