Dear Ang Lee
I went to see your Brokeback Mountain the other night.
First off… I forgot my kleenex so I had to use my sleeve to wipe my nose I was crying so much. Thanks a lot.
Second. The movie was wonderful, powerful and heartbreaking… but I wanted more kissing. More. Lots more. I’m not afraid of watching two men kiss… In fact it’s kinda hot. I would have enjoyed more of that.
Third. Next time you direct a movie and one of your actors has poor diction … take him aside and say “Heath buddy. I know you’re from Australia and you’re trying to do an American accent of a â€œcowboy type guyâ€ who doesn’t talk much, but you can still mumble effectively while enunciating your words so that everyone can understand what youâ€™re saying. Ok? Thanks. ROLL ‘EM!”
Dear Heath Ledger
Wow. Just saw Brokeback Mountain and you were really great. Nice subtle quiet performance. Reallyâ€¦ really good work. But hereâ€™s a little tipâ€¦ go get yourself a diction coach. Every movie Iâ€™ve seen you in, but ESPECIALLY this oneâ€¦ I couldnâ€™t understand a frickin word you said.
I was really into the story of Brokeback Mountain, but honestlyâ€¦ after a while I got so frustrated with trying to figure out what you were saying I decided to watch the movie as a pantomime and just enjoy your performance like it was a silent movie. I really think the movie could have been much more moving if I could have understand what you were saying.
So good job. Get a speech coach. Congrats on the new baby.
Dear Jake Gyllenhaal
Hi baby. I loves you. Good workâ€¦ take off your shirt. Ahhhhhhh.
Tell your friend Heath he needs a speech coach.
Holy crap! That is one hot picture of Jake Gyllenhal. If he looks half as good in the movie, I have to go see it. Well, I want to see it anyway.
heh heh 🙂
oh my gooodness! i too cried so much that i had to wipe my nose on my scarf. ewww gross. haha. i think it was done very well and i though i was just goin’ deaf because i also couldn’t really hear heath’s cowboy voice. hehe. ps i hope you had a good holiday.
Is that you? Where are you?
Mmmmmm, Jake. I hate that about Heath Ledger! My boyfriend had to put the closed captioning on for The Brothers Grimm when we rented it, just so I wouldn’t keep asking him what Heath said!
How about you are sooo funny
um okay ?
May I add one thing? Jake, sweetie, in the future, do NOT grow a mustache. I swear the mustache you had looked like a caterpillar landed on your face. Some men look good with facial hair; you are not one of them (well, except for a bit of five-o’clock shadow). You have a nice deep philtrim (that’s the indentation above your upper lip), so please don’t hide it. And I agree with Sarah that I would have liked a little more kissing. And seeing you shirtless.
Heath, my dear, you sounded as if you had marbles in your mouth. You definitely need a diction coach if you are going to have substantial dialogue in any movie.
Those weren’t marbles.. in his mouth
and he has a
“dick chin” coach already.