Lurking …

IMG_9306I’m going through my iPhoto. I’m creeping closer and closer to the date I found my Cancer.

It’s weird to know what’s coming… It’s like a horror movie. She has no idea there’s a killer lurking.


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Good Life Juice Cleanse – Day 7

On my last day I started slowly and gently introducing food back into my diet. Had a plain baked potato and some steamed broccoli with my juice last night. Yum.

goodlifejuiceI woke up at 4am with the WORST headache. I think I didn’t drink enough water during the day … and then I woke up again to have a 5:30am poop. Thanks a lot bowels. Couldn’t you wait until 7:30? :)

I want to thank Good Life Cleanse for this week. We had a few minor hiccups with my order and they were awesome about it. Very attentive. Made sure I was happy.

Their juice is stellar. Tastes amazing. Even if you don’t want to do a full-on cleanse you should try their Cold-Pressed juice. It’s a beautiful way to drink your salad. :)

Don’t forget that if you want to try Good Life Cleanse – use the code: govegangogoodlife for 15% off your order (until April 15th).

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what kind of yoga pose is this??? 😜


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Good Life Cleanse – Give Away!!

FRIENDS!!! Good Life Cleanse​ is doing a Facebook give-away!! A 2-day Juice Cleanse (12 cold pressed juices) plus free delivery! This is not an April Fools joke!! :)

All the info is on my Facebook page. Contest ends on April 7th. They will chose a winner at random.  :)  This is for BC/ALBERTA Canada residents ONLY!!



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Good Life Cleanse: Day 6

Day 6 of my Good Life Juice Cleanse was awesome. I woke up full of energy and was raring to go!! Gerry and I ran errands all day. I can tell that it was a super busy day because I didn’t take any photos during the day … ha ha.

I really thought when I started that there was no way I could finish a 7 day cleanse but here I am! Tomorrow is my last day and I’m a little sad about it!! :(

10881943_411119132400935_1494929698_nAs my cleanse come to a close I’ve been thinking of some tips I could share that would help you if you ever decide to do a juice cleanse.

#1: Water. If you’re feeling hungry – drink a big glass of water. Feeling cranky? Water. Feeling woozy. Water. Feeling tired. Water. Have a headache? Water.

It is VITAL that you drink water during your cleanse to flush out all the toxins that get stirred up during the cleanse. Yes you’ll pee a lot but it’s not that big a deal.

#2. Flavoured Toothpicks. My mouth tasted like garbage for the first 3-4 days and brushing/scraping your tongue can help – you can’t do that when you’re at the bank. So I found organic mint-flavoured toothpicks at the healthfood store and anytime my mouth tasted horrible I’d pop one in. It was better then a stick of gum and plus you get to look like a cool tough-guy. Ayyyyy sit on it! (Fonzi reference).

#3. Chillax. Take this time to listen to your body. If it’s tired? Rest. If you’re stressed out or trying to fit too many things into your day – your cleanse will backfire. This is your week to nourish your body and be chill.

#4. Exercise. I had no problem doing Aquafit or going for dog walks – I just took it easy and listened to my body. For example when I took the dogs to the beach I usually walk and a brisk pace for 45 minutes. During the cleanse I walked at a leisurely pace and when I started to feel tired – instead of pushing myself – I sauntered back to the car. :)

#5. Do you. If you need to add a little something to your cleanse to make it through the week – do it. I added eating an avocado between 1-3pm and it made everything so much easier. My guts needed a little something extra to help them through the day. I don’t feel badly because I made a smart choice.

Don’t forget that if you want to try Good Life Cleanse – use the code: govegangogoodlife for 15% off your order (until April 15th).

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Good Day Cleanse – Day 4 & 5

Eeeep! I’ve been so busy I ran out of time to blog.

Day 4 of my Good Life Cleanse went great. I could care less about food … all those cravings are gone and now I am quite satiated by the juice. Except between 1:00-3pm. For some reason during that time of day my guts make a symphony of sounds. So I have added an avocado with my 1pm juice and everything is perfect now.

Also – Dwight came to visit for a sleepover. We did a lot of this:


And this: 11095596_855106977878928_1044424381_n

And this: 10296793_635733939905003_1942097545_n

And we went to the beach for a nice walk:

Day 5: I had to get up early and go to school at the Y for my teacher training. It was difficult to leave because of this:

11055704_619829278152407_2039907293_nMy class went great. I told everyone I was doing a Good Life Juice cleanse and that I might have to get up 500x during class to pee but it actually wasn’t that bad.  :) I think I did pretty good on my test. Ugh. Tests make me so anxious!!

Then I came home and did some of this:


Mixed with a little bit of this: 11085133_357293297791906_685964901_nOnly 2 more days of my cleanse left … I thought I wouldn’t make it all the way through to the end but now I think I’m going to miss it.  :(

Don’t forget that if you want to try Good Life Cleanse – use the code: govegangogoodlife for 15% off your order (until April 15th).

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Good Life Cleanse – Day 3

6:45am: I slept really well again last night but I woke up with anxiety … woke up stressing about the doctors appointment I have with my surgeon next week. We are meeting to talk about my “deconstruction” and having my other breast removed so I can be flat & fabulous instead of lopsided & uncomfortable.

I’m nervous because I really want to be flat. I’m so over having one boob … OVER IT! But I’m also nervous about the surgery. Actually mostly nervous about the recovery time and how long it will take me before I’m back in the pool.  :)

main8:04am: Oh. I guess I fell back to sleep. Thank you Square Breathing.

8:19am: Had my water. Now I’m having my tea. I’m not even thinking about food …

10am: Went to aquafit. Did my class and scaled back a bit. I did get a little woozy when I walked into the changeroom. I walked right into a locker door. Ha ha. I was fine.

11:05am: Met Gerry at TZ and we sat out front of the shop and drank our Good Life juices. The weather today is INCREDIBLE! Super warm fresh smelling spring breezes. The sun is warm on my skin. I love it!!

11:27am: I feel like cocooning today. I always find day 3 the hardest. Day 3 of chemo was always the worst. Day 3 after my surgery was the most uncomfortable. Day 3 of my cleanse. Same. I sat on the couch to say hi to Fergus and I fell asleep about 30 seconds later.

12:19pm: Was woken up by a text from my best bestie Shoshana. As we were gossiping on the phone I walked into the kitchen and almost opened up a bag of Hippie Foods Coconut Chips to nosh on while we chatted. I was going to shove food in my  mouth for no reason. It’s kind of fascinating to be forced to confront your unconscious eating habits. So weird. Moved from the couch to bed. Fell asleep again.

1:11pm: Auntie Bonnie called. Woke me up (it’s my fault. I should have put the phone on silent) but we had a nice long talk. :)

3:30pm: Still laying here.

4:15pm: Still laying around.

4:47: I finally got up and had a shower. Put on my eyebrows and I am now partially dressed. I still don’t have any pants on. I’m not even sure where they are??  :)

My stomach has been burbly all day. My 1pm and 3pm juice seem to cause my gut distress. I wonder if it’s the time of day or the ingredients? I had my 5pm juice early. I am not hungry but I am craving my next juice. Yum. Yummy.

I’ve had a few people ask me why I’m doing a juice cleanse. I love to do a cleanse. Remember when I did the Banana Island Cleanse?? I do them for lots of different reasons – I really enjoy the challenge of it. I’ve always found that the first 3-4 days are the most challenging and then by the 5,6,7th day I feel AMAZING. Full of energy and mental clarity.

It’s like cleaning out the attic of all the junk and cobwebs.

The last 2 years have been full of breast cancer treatment and I went through chemo, radiation and copious amounts of medications. Because of my extreme nausea during treatment I couldn’t eat like I normally do (fresh/vegan) … I ate white bread and white crackers and drank gingerale. Ugh. I feel sick just thinking about it.

I’m back on track now. I’m feeling awesome. I’m physically strong again … so I wanted shake out the cobwebs and clean out the attic.

5:14pm: My new batch of juice arrived for the next 3 days. I snapped at Gerry when I came to pick them up. He said something and I slammed a drawer shut and was SO mad but now I don’t even remember why. I guess I am hangry. I need my 5pm juice.  :)

10518136_1598082583811583_749192578_n8:34pm: My favourite part of the day is snuggling with Fergus and drinking my cashew cream.

10:54pm: Gerry and I stayed up late binge watching House of Cards. Time for bed. So. Tired.

If you’re interested in joining me do a Good Life Cleanse – use the code: govegangogoodlife for 15% off your order (until April 15th).


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Good Life Cleanse – Day 2

8:05am: Wow. I slept like a log last night. As most of you know – I am a terrible light sleeper and I suffer from hot-flashes, insomnia and occasional late night “am I going to die” anxiety so when I woke this morning I was in shock that I hadn’t woken up once during the night.

In the middle of the night Gerry got up and went over to my side of the bed to adjust a lamp that had mysteriously turned itself back on and I didn’t even wake up!! Normally I would have woken up the second he shifted the blanket. Crazy.

I also wasn’t hungry when I woke up. I thought I would be famished but I felt just fine – I drank my 16oz glass of water (I love water) and then made a cup of tea and sat and looked at my phone.

10955317_1625217551047738_399017998_n8:32am: Gerry’s mum just texted me to wish me a happy anniversary! OH MY GOD!! What would we do without her? She always reminds us about our anniversary. Why can’t we ever remember. Ha ha.

19 years ago I married my best friend. When I first met him (oh so long ago) I thought “This guy is different. He loves his parents. He talks so sweetly to his mother on the phone. He helped me pay for cat-food. I should marry him.

So I did. And it was the best decision my young 27 year old self made. We’ve been by each others side for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health and I love him more now then I ever understood about true love when I was a 27 year old baby woman hoping to find a loving life partner. Boy-howdy. Did I ever hit the jackpot with Gerry. :)

9:04am: Gerry and I drank our morning juice together. There was a lot of snuggling, kissing and general affection. This juice cleanse is awesome.

9:08am: I am skipping Aquafit today because I have Aquafit at 1:30pm with my Encore group and I don’t want to overtax myself.

10:07am: Time to bake cookies for today’s potluck. Just looking at the jar of chocolate chips is making my mouth water. I’m procrastinating …

10723948_1563804347234720_259559407_n10:12am: Got a message from Good Life Cleanse. They think because of my Aquafit that I should be doing the Athlete’s Cleanse so I am now bumping up from 6 bottles to 7 bottles a day. Damn. I should have gone to Aquafit this morning … oh well.  :)

11:05am: Walked Gerry to work. I swear I can smell every flower in the world right now. Is that a cleanse thing? Or just a spring thing? God-damn it’s a beautiful day.

My 11am juice is so good. Fennel, spinach, pear, and lime (only mine doesn’t have lime). I bet it would be soooo good with lime. WHY Citrus? Why don’t you like me?

11:30am: Time to bake cookies for my potluck.

11:31am: Ugh. I don’t want to bake anything. The thought of the smell of vanilla, coconut and chocolate chips is too much … I decided to make the Righteous Orbs from the GoVegan! w/Sarah Kramer iPhone App.

o_9n8gwPYG2RZhHzHJeooStxcLIeKsYTNqgKrvPkcSp47_dmmAOBLvm7jWJYrt__AxUUuM0XY4SXNaQMcCDp1FWpc894pHXY_iQYUBSTr7BI6OgeuXm5IJeUkBYWmM3Cgqt-G5MB5F8XbiUgR8EmGu_Vb9R22KNDLuP58-KE0V9gzYohMvusHEs5JumG_e4biXp9_kOAOzq4-zZClTPWnMWnx_hTUbvYc11:45pm: Ooops. I ate one.

12:19pm: Time for water water water! I love drinking water. Everyone always asks me how I can drink so much water – and the trick is that it’s ALL I normally drink. In my regular every day life I don’t do pop or juice or coffee.

I drink water all day – every day and I even find myself craving water. I can chug back 2 large glasses …like it’s water. ha ha. 😉

Every once in a blue moon I’ll have something that isn’t water but more often then not I just want a big glass of water.

For the cleanse – I put 3-4 slices of cucumber into a pitcher of water and put it in the fridge. It’s a nice way to flavour your water.

1:30pm: Hit the pool with my Encore ladies and we got our Aquafit on!! :)

3:30pm: oooh. I felt a little woozy there for a second but it passed. My stomach is bubbling like crazy so I went to the bathroom and farted the longest loudest craziest fart. I’m so glad I was alone in the bathroom. ha ha. Now I feel great.

10953145_1637967109759992_2074748207_n5:oopm: I’m home!! I made it through the potluck without eating. Had my juice and my water and it was actually fine – until I started to help clean up the food table and I reached for a grape to shove in my mouth. Isn’t it crazy how unconsciously we shove food into our mouths??

5:15pm: Gerry and I celebrated our anniversary together by drinking our dinner juices together. Awwww.

I’ve noticed that the last 2 days of juicing that I have the most difficult time during my 1pm juice and my 3pm juice. By the time I get to my 5pm juice I am fine … what is that I wonder? Any thoughts? I’m drinking tons of water in between all my juices. Hmmmm.

9:42pm: I’ve hit a wall. I’m over it. Why am I doing this? I’m out.

9:43pm: I drank a giant glass of water and I feel much better. I’M BACK IN!! :)

9:58pm: I am ready for bed. I plan on taking it much easier tomorrow … might stay in my pajamas all day.


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Good Life Cleanse – Day 1

Day 1 of our 7 day juice cleanse. I actually woke up nervous. How am I going to only drink juice (plus 1 creamy cashew drink) for 7 days??

I also woke up nervous about my daily Aquafit. It’s very important for me to go work-out every day because it makes my body feel so good. I want to continue doing my aquafit and Good Life Cleanse encourages you to stay active in their FAQ – but I’m probably going to have to scale it back a bit to make sure I don’t over-tax my body.

Zs1nUEwdE9dhNjVjbhsu2gaO13JTH7bhfCtqPNotl1WnsjdTMGu_1CEvKuI7cQ7k28SWPJ5aihIS56rrTPjshZlNJ1niXyx0Cg2KvbJFG-hbyGCPecMHFDHoP23eEoGWhOcvsImCS6TQ9akDAo0Y0JlO7-IvGPwym9UrMIdIvAz1FH2sq1to5dpD-DjjKKd7CtpT-MzzXPnOAzBC48Et6LLI59Kkn9UML8am: The cleanse comes with a pdf booklet explaining how the cleanse works and when my juice arrived yesterday – it came with a small insert that explains how to do your cleanse.

I started my day (as instructed) with a big glass of water and then a cup of hot water and lemon. Only I can’t do citrus (it rips my insides apart) so I had a cup of camomile tea instead.

Good Life Cleanse has kindly customized my cleanse to be citrus free for me. :)

9am: Gerry and I drank our first juice and we were both moaning with pleasure. Have you ever had cold-pressed juice before? It’s very different then juice that’s put through a centrifugal juicer. There is zero pulp and it tastes incredible.

9:20am: I just went pee and it was perfectly clear but I’m not surprised. I ‘ve had 16 oz of water + 8 oz of tea + 16 oz of juice … I think I am going to be doing a lot of peeing this week. :)

10am: Hit the pool and did aquafit. It went just fine … I just made sure instead of giving 110% like I normally do I just gave it 60%. Honestly all I could think about the whole time I was in the pool – was the next juice that was waiting for me to drink. In the locker room it seemed like all anyone was talking about was food and I felt like I was going insane. Ha ha.

11am: Had my juice and then ran a few errands. Came home and walked the dog. Drank water. Had a cup of tea.

1pm: Had my juice and about 20 minutes later my stomach started making noises. Lots of burbling, bubbling and movement. Then I had a bowel movement. My 3rd of the day!! This one was less then stellar but my stomach stopped making noises and everything settled down.

1:30pm: Sitting on the sofa studying for my Y exam on Sunday and cuddling with fergus and drinking a tea. He looks like a little delicious perogy … and I’m thinking about eating him… Wait. That’s not right. I must be hungry.

3pm: I am really anxious for food. There is an uneaten avocado sitting in my kitchen and it’s calling out to me “EAT ME. EAT ME” I don’t want to open my juice yet – because I am waiting for someone from Craigslist to come and pick up a piece of furniture I’m selling. Why are they always late? Or promise to be there at a certain time and then never show up. I even give them my cell number so they can text me if they can’t make it … Just show up on time. With money. ON TIME! :( I think I’m cranky.

3:15pm: The dude is still not here and I just saw my jar of peanut butter taunting me from the pantry. What a dick.

3:21pm: He’s still not here but texted that he’s on his way. Should I take a sip of my next juice? Yes. I’m throwing caution to the wind and opening up my next juice.

3:22pm: I opened my juice and guess who knocked on my door 3o seconds later. I showed Craigslist guy and his girlfriend the bookcase I’m selling. It’s $20. They took 15 minutes to look at it with a fine tooth comb and wanted to know if there was wiggle room on the price. It’s a TWENTY F##king DOLLAR bookcase! It’s not going to be perfect or amazing or like something you buy from the store. Ugh. People are the worst. He didn’t buy the bookcase.

3:32pm: Had my juice. Feeling better but still pissed at the Craigslist Ding-Dong. I might just put the bookcase out on the curb for free just to spite him.

3:45pm: Oh no! I ate the avocado.

3:52pm: I drank a large glass of water. Excuse the animal-ism but I am peeing like a race horse!! Where does that expression come from? Do race horses pee more then wild horses?

screen-capture-35:03pm: Took the dog for a nice walk. Time for another juice … My stomach is rumbling but I’m feeling pretty good. I have a different Craigslist person coming to look at the bookcase. Cross your fingers they buy it.  :)

5:04pm: YES!! They bought it. I’m $20 richer!!

6:15pm: Picked up Gerry from work and all I can think about is that cashew milk drink that I get to have at 7:30pm. Nom. Nom. Nom.

I don’t think you have to be super regimented about the juices – but I love a schedule – so I’ve planned to drink the 5 juices (+1 creamy cashew) every 2 hours throughout the day. That takes me from 9am to 7pm. I’m going to try to wait til 7:30 before I have my final drink. What time is it?

8pm: I didn’t even realize what time it is … TIME FOR MY CASHEW CREAM drink! Nom Nom Nom. What a delish way to end my first day.

Tomorrow I have my final Encore at the Y for the winter season and we are having a pot-luck tomorrow afternoon to celebrate. So I have to bake some cookies … what a terrible thing I’ve chosen to do. ha ha. How am I going to survive?? And then tomorrow I’m going to have to watch all my friends eat. Oy Vey! Wish me luck.

If you’re interested in joining me to do a Good Life Cleanse use the code: govegangogoodlife  for 15% off your order (good until April 15th).


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Anxiety …

Went to the dentist for my regular cleaning and to have my night-guard adjusted today. I was halfway through the procedure when I realized I had zero anxiety. It’s a giant milestone for me!! I’m so happy.

Since finishing cancer treatment I have had a lot of issues with scheduled appointments. Going to see the doctor (even for something minor) puts me into a tizzy. Even something as simple as a hair appointment would leave me restless, stressed out and sometimes cause me to have a panic attack.

screen-capture-2Every once in a blue moon I will have to take an Ativan before the night of my appointment but for the most part – since I figured out this trigger – I have been able to deal with my Appointment Anxiety much better.

I realized it was residual anxiety from hundreds of stressful and sometimes painful appointments I did during cancer treatment. So now before I have any appointment I make sure to acknowledge my anxiety and then I work extra hard at being kind to myself.

I’ve been working on recognizing the symptoms of a panic attack – and I have various tools in my tool kit that I pull out and use to calm myself before it turns into a full-blown attack.

One of the big things I noticed about myself before a panic attack hits is that I am really down on myself. I’ll start saying really terrible things about myself like “I’m fat” or “I’m ugly”. I do NOT think any of those things about myself and I have come to realize that it’s a warning sign of panic starting to swirl up inside my head.

There’s a few things I can do to stop my panic before it starts. Most important for me is to say out loud to someone “I think I am having a panic attack.” For whatever reason it calms me to verbally acknowledge what’s happening.

I do the same when I’m having a hot-flash. Saying it out-loud to someone makes the hot-flash less intense.  :)

If that doesn’t work – I stop what I’m doing and do jumping jacks. I learned this trick from an episode of Orange is The New Black!!
#1. It makes me laugh (always good)
#2. It makes me breath in good healthy oxygen

Anyway … I teared up a little today in the dentists chair. Isn’t it awesome to notice and acknowledge cosmic shifts like this in ourselves.  :)

What are your tricks for dealing with anxiety/panic attacks?


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